In this episode we discuss:

Brain (dumps) Downloads (3:30)

Our mind’s job is to be the idea-generator. A brain dump/download is the process of capturing all the ideas without expecting each one to be completed. If ideas are flowing in more than one area of life, this is a great time to organize them into different sections.  

• Write down all the ideas.  Let the pen and paper be your memory. 
• This practice frees up your mind to be calm while you determine priority.

Selectively Sifting Through Ideas (4:10)

Start engaging in a practice to ask applicability-based questions and whittle down the options.

• Take the time to assess “Do I want to do this?”, “Is this the right time FOR ME?”
• These questions not only help you intentionally select the best ideas for you, but also help you put boundaries around the timing of intended future actions.
• Not everything can be or needs to done right now. 
• Allow for the timing of things to flow into place.

Future To-Do Lists (5:12)

By contrast, a “to-do” list implies everything on the list has to be completed. Lists can be helpful to organize your daily tasks. Pro tip: The most effective list contains no more than 1-3 tasks per day.

• Again, allow room to go with the flow.
• Lists for managing your home life and your job duties will vary greatly. 
• With practice you can apply these skills to work and help us learn to self-advocate capacity and timing concerns.

Mind vs. Heart (6:10)

Understanding the difference between the roles our hearts and minds play is key. Our mind recalls past events, ideas, places, people and things. Our heart either opens up or closes down to the implementation of those ideas.

• If you’re heart isn’t committed to an idea, you won’t have the motivation to see the idea through to the end.

My Manageable Life (7:39)

This is a tool designed to help identify what you want your life to look and feel like when every aspect of life feels balanced and manageable.  The tool is divided into quadrants and titled based on the four areas of life that your heart is most committed to; the areas of that life that bring you the highest sense of fulfillment and joy.

• This tool helps to course-correct areas of daily life that aren’t in balance yet, but you want them to be.
• By pre-committing to these areas, you’ll build confidence that time spent on these goals will give you the most amount of personal reward. 
• It’s exponential how beneficial it feels to master the small things first.

Managing Capacity Changes (12:12)

It’s important to remember that our capacity for daily life is fluid. Our schedules, jobs, schools, health, needs, and energy levels change throughout the day, week and month in sync with our biological regeneration cycles. 

• Allowing yourself to update tools like “My Manageable Life” to honor those changes is how we develop the strength to flow with daily life instead of fight against it unknowingly.

Managing Your Decisions and Honoring Yourself (13:35)

Honoring what you know you want in life IS the first step towards rebuilding a self-advocated lifestyle.

• Tools like “My Manageable Life” create guidelines that you can quickly read and know that by accomplishing any of the stated items on the tool, you’re staying on track.
• That feels good! Like dopamine good.

Managing a Limited Supply of Energy and Motivation (14:10)

There are no rules to how many tasks are included in each quadrant of “My Manageable Life”. If life is super stressful, add items like “30-minutes of playing a game” or “45 minutes of reading time”. 

• It’s brain-healthy to allow yourself to start and finish a task that’s fun.
• It helps down-regulate the brain from the Fight or Flight Sympathetic Nervous System (SANS) and increase the feel-good brain chemicals and hormones.

Managing Organizational Challenges (15:40)

ADHD-brains struggle with executive function and working memory, and can easily forget previously-purchased daily household items. Home inventory becomes invisible and non-existent behind full-panel cabinet and closet doors, drawers and storage boxes.

• Research shows that 81% of youth with ASD also have ADHD. Even more alarming, the study found that 41% of those who had both Autism and ADHD received zero prior treatment for ADHD. (1)(2)
• The practice of organizing information, thoughts or things and referring back to it often helps build executive function.
• This is especially important for ADHD+ASD brains who rely strongly on the organization of their memory database and filing (memory recall) systems. 

Creating a “Favorites” Area in your Home (19:30)

Designate a place in your home to gather your frequently used items together and allow that space to become permanent for you. Clearly communicate the space to roommates and select an area away from high-traffic places.

• This allows you to keep all your most-needed items out in plain sight where you need them most.

Managing Social Disconnects Created by Literal Communication (24:00)

 Social applications of words can be used in multiple contexts but can also contradict the literal definition of the word. The database-recall of word definitions can create social and emotional distress in conversations quickly based on different understandings of the meaning of the word.

• Understand that a Neurodivergent challenge for some people might be opposite of yours. 
• An Autistic super-power is the ability to recall information with database accuracy.
• The social implication of pointing out someone’s verbal or communication mistakes can lead to emotional and relationship challenges. 
• Try saying “Did you mean to say…” so your clarification feels less stressful to respond to. 

Managing Dyslexia Complicates Verbal Communication (27:10)

Accurate word recall can be compromised during a heated discussion regardless of neurotype. But if you also have dyslexia, it can feel like adding gas to the fire by flipping words and sentence structure around as words are being said.

Managing Holiday Triggered Sensory Overload (28:15)

Some days it’s more stressful to manage Autism and ADHD because of the overlooked sensory nature of traditional holiday celebrations. Crowds, loud music, fireworks. These were considered hallmarks of a holiday.

• Today these are just a few of the bigger reasons for the “Celebrate From Home” Movement that so many Neurodivergent families opt for instead.
• We found a great set of noise cancelling headphones for Mom, Dad and Declan, but that is just the first step in managing the conflicts of the holidays.
• Try to implement a “dry run” visual of the holiday event to help set expectations for potentially stressful events to help ease the transition into a new event or place. 
• For more support, check out Episode 20: The Holiday Battles of Needs

Managing Neurodivergent Chaos Sensitivity (35:43)

Anxiety and Depression heighten sensitivity to crowds and chaos. The high energy of people, music and multiple conversations must be taken into consideration when evaluating attendance at any social or community event.

• Instead of feeling exciting and energizing, chaos feels more like a loss of control. 
• Rigid, demanding and uncooperative behavior is a strong clue that you feel threatened by uncertainty. 

Managing Hormones and ADHD in Women (36:36)

Gender roles and the increase in hormonal fluctuations for women, greatly complicate the process of separating out Fight or Flight (SANS) vs Reproductive-Based mood, anxiety, depression, fatigue and anger swings. Since hormones in women follow a 28+/- cycle signaling changes throughout the month, the impact of hormones can confuse the evaluation and diagnostic process.

• Estrogen and progesterone INCREASE during one portion of the 28 day cycle which increases neurotransmitters and cognitive function.
• On the flip side of the same cycle, estrogen and progesterone DECREASE during premenstrual days triggering greater irritability, difficulty regulating mood, sleep, energy and focus.
• Without careful note taking and observation, an incorrect diagnosis of PMDD can mask ADHD. 
• Tracking your cycle and your mood for a few months may help a physician see the bigger and more detailed picture of your daily experience. 

Managing Conversations About Neurodivergence with our Kids (45:28)

Do we need to raise our kids with the understanding of their Neurodivergence? As kids mature, it may be helpful to give them the words to their feelings and experiences to their neuro-type. Brain love roadmaps.

• • Teach self-advocacy based on the formula of  “I can identify my needs” + “I have the words and practice to speak up and ask for help to meet my needs”. It’s a valuable social collaboration skill. 
  • Empower our kids to see social anxiety differently and to identify and discern between their anxiety or a peer’s anxiety.
  • Then we can teach neutral statements that impower our kids not to take responsibility for other people’s unresolved, projected emotional challenges. (4)

Manage & Dismantle Learned Social Defensiveness (47:05)

As adults, we have become to accustomed to being on the receiving-end of peer and social projection, blame, and criticism. There are two choices we can take in these moments.

• First, receive the projection literally and assume we’re in the wrong which leads to instant defensiveness or apathy.
• Or second, step back and notice the other person’s behavior as a reflection of themselves (and not us).
  • Option two creates the ability to discern the footprint of the socio-emotional disruption and not take erroneous responsibility for other people’s unresolved emotions.

Managing Database & Working Memory Fog (51:36)

Both types of memory work differently (long-term data recall versus short term word recall and utilization) however both memory centers in the brain rely equally on the nutrients from our diet in order to function well. Foods that dampen function for a variety of reasons include sugar, dairy and gluten.

• Food-aware physicians teach the important of low/no gluten, dairy and sugar (and alcohol) to help support healthy brain function.
• Brain-healthy foods that contain quality sources of Omega-3’s can be very helpful to improve overall brain function.

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